“Oh, it was just luck!”
“I was fortunate to win today, the competition had a bad day.”
“I can’t believe I got that grade, I’m not sure I deserve it.”
“If it was not for my colleague, my pitch would never have won that work.”
Sound familiar? Ever felt like you do not fit in and that your friends or work colleagues will realise you are not what you portray? That you are unworthy of your success? Not as capable as others? If so, you may be experiencing Imposter Syndrome.
Imposter Syndrome is also known as Imposter Phenomenon and was discovered by Dr Pauline Clance in 1985 while working with high achieving women. Dr Clance found that Imposter Syndrome sufferers tend to believe they are ‘intellectual frauds’ and fear that they may be recognised as imposters. Sufferers also tended to struggle with anxiety, fear of failure and dissatisfaction with life. As research has evolved and greater understanding about Imposter Syndrome has been possible, it has become clear that both men and women experience Imposter Syndrome but that women are more susceptible and likely to be intensely affected by it (Carol Kinsey Goman, July 2018).
Imposter Syndrome can often be experienced alongside difficulties with perfectionism and procrastination (both of which have had blogs previously written about them. See below) as both these issues tend to leave their sufferers fearing failure and the possibility that they or others will realise their flaws and they will be somehow exposed. While living with the discomfort of feelings triggered by Imposter Syndrome can be debilitating, it may be helpful to know that there are ways to manage this struggle.
A helpful starting point can be learning to recognise some of the unhelpful thinking that may come with Imposter Syndrome:
- All or nothing thinking – believing if we are not perfect, we have failed.
- Mental filtering whereby we only pay attention to our failures and cannot see our successes.
- Disqualifying the positives – overlooking good traits because they somehow do not count.
- ‘Should’ thinking – when we attach critical words such as ‘should’, ‘must’ or ‘ought’ to our expectations of ourselves it can lead to anxiety about failing.
All therapeutic work, irrelevant of differing theoretical approaches, involves working with, understanding and making sense of our thoughts. When our thoughts become unhelpful, they can lead to uncomfortable emotions and feelings such as those associated with Imposter Syndrome.
So… what can I do about this? These are some tips and ideas for changing unhelpful thinking to better manage and overcome Imposter Syndrome feelings:
- Try to become aware of and recognise your imposter thoughts – observe them but try not to engage them. As children may sometimes be taught, “You can look but do not touch”, try to apply a similar principle to the process of observing the thought but not engaging it. By asking yourself questions about the thought such as whether it is helping you or how it may be unhelpful, this enables the process of observing but not engaging the thought. This process helps to diffuse thoughts rather than hold onto them and offer them the opportunity to take over.
- Reframing thoughts – Valerie Young (2011) notes the only differences between those experiencing Imposter Syndrome and those who don’t, is how they respond to challenges. Not feeling like an imposter does not make the individual any more intelligent, competent or capable; they are just thinking differently. So if we can think like a non-imposter, we may feel less trapped e.g. reframing our thinking so that asking a question or asking for help is valued as being efficient rather than a sign of failure because we did not have the answers.
- Accept compliments and note successes – imposters tend to dismiss compliments, so when someone compliments you, try saying thank you and accepting the positive affirmation. This can help build self-recognition of positive personal attributes. Taking this a step further, it can also be helpful to recognise personal successes and positive achievements. Keeping a thought journal or writing a list about what you have done well can help train you to recognise and genuinely feel your successes.
- Consider the opposite – when imposter unhelpful thinking strikes and you recognise the thought, it can be helpful to ask yourself, “What is the opposite thought?” This can open one’s mind to considering a new helpful perspective e.g. rather than “I only won because my opponent had a bad day so I don’t deserve the win ” could become “I won because I played well today and deserve to win”.
- It can also be helpful to share your fears with a trusted person who can offer some insight, understanding and reassurance.
Imposter Syndrome feelings may not go away completely and we may all have them at times, however it is possible to learn to manage them so that they do not take over and control us.
(For further reading about perfectionism and procrastination mentioned, you may find previous articles ‘The Cry Beneath Perfectionism’ by Jean Cheng and ‘Tips on How to Tackle Procrastination’ by Adriana Giotta of interest.)
